This is only a portion of myself that I want to share. It's difficult to actually share this on my personal account since I'm afraid of the adverse impact on those who knew me well. But I guess, I have to share this since I received personal messages and messages on this page about dealing with problems, having suicidal ideations, and stuff. It hit me because I was there for a looong time! Until now, there are still times when I have down phases (like now). Usually, other people see me with jovial, happy, and extraverted personality because I am really good at pretending that I'm okay sometimes. Pero usually nasanay na naman ako makihalubilo because of the nature of my work.
DAPAT KAYANIN KASI PSYCH MAJOR AKO. Sa totoo lang, mental health advocate ako, may MA plus nagtuturo na. Pressured? Yes! Takte dapat maayos ako e. But I realized, I'm still a person with feelings. Tao lang ako. I still need to have someone or to have friends with people who will never judge me kung ano ang nararamdaman ko hindi dahil sa inaral ko ang Psychology. Alam niyo yun? I think, kaya yata ako nasa field na ito kasi I want to help myself and to know myself na hindi naman ako binigo. Nakilala ko sarili ko, mas minahal ko sarili ko at mas marami akong natutunan na coping mechanisms. That's why, surprised ako kapag may nakakausap ako at may problem siya na sinabi sa akin tapos sasabihin niya..."Tama! Yan nga!" Minsan di ko lang masabi kasi na-feel ko rin yan. Charot. I learned a lot sa course ko like how to remove your bias, to just listen to someone's problems, to empathize, and others.
Minsan binibisita ako ng mga nararamdaman ko kapag mag-isa lang ako. Minsan na lang talaga. I think, ako yung tinatawag na high-functioning person that's why you won't believe me when I say I have problems, too. That's okay. Kaya ko naman na talaga. I seek help when I really need help.
Kaya sobrang happy ako kapag may natutulungan at may hindi nagcocommit ng suicide dahil sa simpleng usapan namin saka sa pagadvice ko na magseek siya ng help. Walang masama naman na humingi ng tulong dahil tao ka.
Here's my few experiences (brief):
Age 17- Bombarded by problems; I stopped schooling; I had suicidal ideations, I really wanted to end it in different ways.
Age 18- Fortunately started another life at new school with new course
Age 19- Dreamt of being part of a quiz bee team because I was inspired in PAPJA
Age 20 - Rejected by professors because they see me as an average student in spite of winning in departmental quiz bee; We lost in national quiz bee; discouraged by the chairperson to join again; I cried tons of tears and I felt like I'm bobo and useless
Age 21- I'm stubborn so as my friends, with the help of our coach (actually di namin prof talaga that time siya rin si prof na tumulong on our first fight) we tried again; we made it to the top ten and we're part of university newsletter.
And so on...struggles sa paghahanap ng work, rejected multiple times, something happened at our home and I can't stay there, I lived in a different home for a while, stressed out sa graduate school tapos stressed out pa sa personal problems, jobless pa rin, homaygahd may board pa wala kong pera pang review, etc.
In short, life is a series of struggles and a series of winning those struggles. Learn to celebrate when you surpassed your obstacles, and cheer yourself up!
One of the most important lesson in life that I've learned as of this moment:
Don't give up because you have no idea what awaits in the future. Soon, you'll know your purpose in life. Sa ngayon, lumaban ka!
DAPAT KAYANIN KASI PSYCH MAJOR AKO. Sa totoo lang, mental health advocate ako, may MA plus nagtuturo na. Pressured? Yes! Takte dapat maayos ako e. But I realized, I'm still a person with feelings. Tao lang ako. I still need to have someone or to have friends with people who will never judge me kung ano ang nararamdaman ko hindi dahil sa inaral ko ang Psychology. Alam niyo yun? I think, kaya yata ako nasa field na ito kasi I want to help myself and to know myself na hindi naman ako binigo. Nakilala ko sarili ko, mas minahal ko sarili ko at mas marami akong natutunan na coping mechanisms. That's why, surprised ako kapag may nakakausap ako at may problem siya na sinabi sa akin tapos sasabihin niya..."Tama! Yan nga!" Minsan di ko lang masabi kasi na-feel ko rin yan. Charot. I learned a lot sa course ko like how to remove your bias, to just listen to someone's problems, to empathize, and others.
Minsan binibisita ako ng mga nararamdaman ko kapag mag-isa lang ako. Minsan na lang talaga. I think, ako yung tinatawag na high-functioning person that's why you won't believe me when I say I have problems, too. That's okay. Kaya ko naman na talaga. I seek help when I really need help.
Kaya sobrang happy ako kapag may natutulungan at may hindi nagcocommit ng suicide dahil sa simpleng usapan namin saka sa pagadvice ko na magseek siya ng help. Walang masama naman na humingi ng tulong dahil tao ka.
Here's my few experiences (brief):
Age 17- Bombarded by problems; I stopped schooling; I had suicidal ideations, I really wanted to end it in different ways.
Age 18- Fortunately started another life at new school with new course
Age 19- Dreamt of being part of a quiz bee team because I was inspired in PAPJA
Age 20 - Rejected by professors because they see me as an average student in spite of winning in departmental quiz bee; We lost in national quiz bee; discouraged by the chairperson to join again; I cried tons of tears and I felt like I'm bobo and useless
Age 21- I'm stubborn so as my friends, with the help of our coach (actually di namin prof talaga that time siya rin si prof na tumulong on our first fight) we tried again; we made it to the top ten and we're part of university newsletter.
And so on...struggles sa paghahanap ng work, rejected multiple times, something happened at our home and I can't stay there, I lived in a different home for a while, stressed out sa graduate school tapos stressed out pa sa personal problems, jobless pa rin, homaygahd may board pa wala kong pera pang review, etc.
In short, life is a series of struggles and a series of winning those struggles. Learn to celebrate when you surpassed your obstacles, and cheer yourself up!
One of the most important lesson in life that I've learned as of this moment:
Don't give up because you have no idea what awaits in the future. Soon, you'll know your purpose in life. Sa ngayon, lumaban ka!
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