PAMAHIIN

Madalas na maniwala sa mga sabi-sabi

Mga guhit sa palad, tarot cards, horoscope, hugis o nunal sa mukha, o bituin sa langit,

inaalam, pinapakinggan, at sinusunod

dahil ano nga bang mawawala kung hindi susubukan?

Pinapaikot ng mga matatanda

Wala kang ebidensya pero mahigpit na naniniwala

dahil ano nga bang mawawala

kung hindi susubukan? Di ba?

Buong buhay ay naging masunurin

Nakahilera ang buhay sa klima ng pamahiin

Araw-araw ay sinusuot ang masusuwerteng kulay,

tinataya sa lotto ang numero sa dyaryo,

at sinubukang matulog ng mahimbing sa naayong direksyon.

Sa ilang libong beses na hiniling ang swerte

Heto ka't dumating sa aking piling.

Alam kong ikaw na iyon

dahil nang una kitang nakita'y suot ko

ang kulay berde kong damit.

Ito ay ganap na 11:11 ng umaga,

ito rin yung araw na nakaharap akong matulog sa silangan.

Naalala ko pa na sinabi sa horoscope

na magiging kakaiba ang araw ko

kumpara sa nakaraang lingo

at may makikilala akong magbabago ng aking pagkatao.

Nilingon mo 'ko nang umagang iyon.

Ngumiti ka dahil nakatingin ako sa'yo.

Pumikit at humiling sa relos ko na nagsasabing 11:11.

At alam kong ito na nga ang simula.

Wala akong ebidensya pero malakas ang aking paniniwala...

batid kong pumosisyon ang mga bituin

para mundo natin ay magtagpo.

Ipinagkaloob ka ng kalangitan.

Kaya’t inaalagaan ka araw-araw.

Mas nakilala pa kita at minahal na parang

walang sandaling dapat na masayang.

Sinunod ko pa rin ang pamahiin

para siguradong sa akin ay manatili.

Makalipas ng ilang buwang pagkakaibigan,

naging tayo sa araw ng otso

Sinabi kong swerte nga ako talaga sa’yo

“Infinity and beyond” pa ang ibig sabihin ng numero.

Nagpalitan ng yakap at halik

Hatid-sundo sa umaga at gabi

Walang araw na hindi maligaya

Ikaw ang naging sandigan at pag-asa.

Marami ng puno ang nalagas,

Kasabay ng mga araw na lumipas

Hindi ko akalaing sasama rin pala sa panahon

Ang relasyong ginawan natin ng pundasyon.

Biglang ang mga bituin sa kalangitan ay nagbago ng posisyon

Nagbago na ang mundo mo na akala ko’y pinatibay na ng mga pagkakataon.

Wala naman akong nunal sa mukha

pero bakit tumatagas ng madalas ang luha?

Wala ka naming nunal sa talampakan

pero bakit mo ko nilisan?

Natulog naman ako kaharap ng silangan

pero bakit nagbago ang direksyon at nag-alinlangan?

Saan ako nagkulang?

Ang tila otso na araw na para bang walang hanggan

natapos sa isang iglap ng walang hudyat?!

Mahina ba ang aking panalangin sa gabi?

Kaya ba binigay ka sa iba at hindi na sa akin?

Wala na akong kulay kundi itim at puti

pero madalas ay itim…

Pinaikot nga ako ng mga matatanda!

Walang ebidensya pero mahigpit na naniwala!

Naging sunud-sunuran sa mga sabi-sabi

dahil ano nga naman daw ang mawawala

kung hindi susubukan?! Di ba?!

Ano nga bang mawawala kung hindi susubukan?!

Eh ano nga  ba?! Nawala ako sa katinuan.

Sinubukan niya akong sukuan!

Bakit parang ang laki ng nawala?

Bakit parang may nawala? Bakit?

…Hindi na ako muling maniniwala sa pamahiin.

Hindi mo pala doon makikita kung sino ang makakapiling.

Isa ka lang sa mga sabi-sabi,

isa ka lang sa mga pamahiing

walang patunay, walang tibay.

Hindi na ako maniniwala sa pamahiin.

#TanongNiBes: How'd you know that psycho is for you? I want to know

My Personal Answer:

Since I saw your profile and it seemed like you're a fresh graduate from HUMSS, it's understandable na "psycho" yung term na ginamit mo. Hahaha. The right word should be "Psychology" not "psycho". Psycho is used as a shortcut for "psychopath." They are known as manipulative. They harm other people and damage the society because of their antisocial acts while Psychology is a discipline that studies human behavior and mental processes. Psychologist's main concern is to enhance the productivity and well-being of all people. 🙂

To answer your question, well, at first I followed my father's wish to take political science because he wanted to see me as a lawyer. I enrolled in a prestigious school but I only stayed for 1 semester. During my stay, I encountered too many challenges such as adjustment, financial problems, and feelings that I don't belong in my course. Walang spark of joy and enthusiasm every time I go to school. Eventually, I stopped.

I was lost for months looking for the best course that best suited me. Binalikan ko yung interest ko nang high school na nag-enjoy ako sa work ng guidance counselor namin! Ang awesome ng brain games niya sa classroom! Tapos nakita ko rin sa friend ko na masaya siya sa psychology. Na-feel kong parang masaya talaga especially kapag mag-uusap kami.

Then ayon. Dito na ako. Masaya at masarap sa feeling! Never akong nagregret na nag-Psychology ako. <3 Walang katumbas yung fulfilling feeling lalo na kapag nakatulong ka at may positive feedback sa ginawa mo. Masaya ako kapag masaya yung hitsura rin ng audience kapag may talk. Masaya ako sa pinaglalaban kong advocacy na tayong lahat ay tao at pantay-pantay. Masaya akong habang may tao, may Psychology.

I guess this is one of the courses that will thrive in the future. Technology will never replace humans. They can't imitate empathy, understanding, immediate experiences, love, hope, pain, and even consciousness of a live person.

I consider this as one of the difficult courses (lahat naman e). Imagine, hard sciences can actually calculate precisely and accurately the physical universe but in our course, we don't have specific formula to calculate abstract concepts such as love, pain, helping, understanding, cooperation, and other related concepts. We can't restore the faith in humanity, walang formula doon pero our work somehow makes this world a better place. But imagine the work of psychologists and other allied professionals to produce a spark of hope to a person who feels empty and useless? To at least help and guide the person to fin their purpose and meaning.

We can't measure everything but life itself is meaningful when you explore the world of people, their subjective world. <3

I can't wait to share it to all of you! I hope one day, we'll have a meaningful conversation or try to take my path so we'll meet soon.

Masaya  na mapait ang course na ito pero alam mong sa huli, lahat ng hirap mo...worth it. <3 Mahal ko ang disiplinang ito. Sana makita rin kitang masaya sa kursong ito.

INTERNATIONAL DAY OF HAPPINESS

International Day of Happiness is an annual and global campaign by United Nation. They would like to remind us that it's not only about celebration but an opportunity to connect and care about other people and ourselves. It is celebrated every 20th day of March.

But...is it really easy to be happy? No. Some of us are more predisposed to negative emotions than positive emotions. A 2013 study by the University of British Columbia revealed that there's a genetic component to the tendency to see life through the negative lens. With that being said, people perceive similar situations differently because sometimes we are wired to see things as they are. Fortunately, we can effectively manage it but it takes time. 

In my humble opinion, the world will be a better place if we remind ourselves not to fake happiness just for the sake of any celebrations. No, you don't need to be suddenly caring today or to smile big time! It doesn't work that way. I guess it will work if most of us will recognize what we truly feel first and if we live at the moment. If you are not in a good mood today, don't force yourself to be tremendously happy. Negative emotions can actually help us. We need it some time. We can't be happy all the time, if that's the case then we will be living our lives in a lie!

Some find happiness by finding their sense of meaning or purpose which requires a bit of hard work and time but it's possible. So, for now, you can actually start by doing whatever you love, you can just eat a piece of chocolate, talk to someone who will listen to you, or watch your favorite series. It's not happiness but it's something that might help you relax a bit and might lead you to happiness because happiness is not only a feeling but it's also doing. 

For those who are lonely today, here's my hug! Have a great day!

References and Suggested Readings:

Bonior, A. (2018, March 17) 5 questions to help you find your sense of purpose. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/friendship-20/201803/5-questions-help-you-find-your-sense-purpose

Fletcher, B. (2014, February 14). Happiness is not a feeling - it is doing. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/do-something-different/201402/happiness-is-not-feeling-it-is-doing

Gruber, J. (2012, May 3). Four ways happiness can hurt you. Retrieved from https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/four_ways_happiness_can_hurt_you.

Waugh, B. (2013 October 13). Genes predispose people to focus on the negative. Retrieved from http://news.ubc.ca/2013/10/10/genes-predispose-some-people-to-focus-on-the-negative/

LIFE IS...

Why some people can't hear themselves? Some are too preoccupied with their positions in life. Life isn't about that! Life is about making a difference with others. Life is being satisfied with your own progress without competing to anyone. It's not even a race.

Life is about who you are not your extensions. Life is about sleeping peacefully at night with fewer complaints because you are in control with your own response to the situation, not the other way around.

Life is about loving your life and loving your people.
Life is about embracing your self, your true self.

LEAVE A LITTLE LOVE FOR YOURSELF

Kapag nagmahal ka, magtira ka sa sarili mo. Cliché, no? Pero totoo! Sa dami ng nakakausap ko kahit sa chat o personal, marami na yung nagmahal ng todo tapos luhaan sa dulo. Hindi ko naman sinabing wag kang magmahal pero kasi yung iba (yung iba meaning di applicable sa lahat, oke?) binigay lahat. Simot. Ubos. Kaya ayon, sa dulo durog. Luhaan. Sawi. Hays.

Kasi nga bes magtira ka.

Dapat nga na mas mahalin mo muna ang sarili mo bago "siya". Paano ka magbibigay ng pagmamahal na hindi mo sinubukan sa sarili mo?

Saka minsan hindi mo naman kailangan ng love life, minsan kaibigan at pamilya okay naman (pero depende sa'yo balakajan). Huwag kang magmadali na baka bukas maubusan ka.

Mayroong darating para sa'yo. Baka di pa nga lang napapanganak. Charot. Seryoso, mahalin mo sarili mo. Darating yung tamang tao sa'yo kahit gaano pa kataas ang standards niyan...may papasok rin sa banga. Pak!

JUDGMENTAL IS NOT OK

Pineapple on a pizza is ok
Makinig ng ex b is ok
Maging imperfect is ok
Maging single is ok
Your lumpy body is ok
You are ok

Yung ilang tao lang sa society natin na judgmental ang HINDI OK.

BE KIND

"We carry with us, as human beings, not just the capacity to be kind, but the very choice of kindness."

From "Wonder"

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Psychology isn't just about labels, classifications, evaluation, or whatever, it's about looking on other people's strengths and positive qualities. One incident should not be attributed to the person's personality. We need to know the whole story. You know, actor-observer effect. Though it's normal for us to respond negatively to certain situations (because we're humans), we still need to consider other angles to see the whole picture.

We're here to guide and help our Kapwa. We don't drag one another, right? I'm sure, one way to fix things is not throwing spiteful comments to someone when we don't even know the situation. We need to gather enough facts before making any conclusions.

In this era of fake news, be the person who don't easily get swayed by what we see, read, and hear. Don't let politics to divide us all.

So for now, be kind. Always choose to be kind.