Quotes # 15

Quotes #14

My Unforgettable Experience in Visiting Correctional Institution for Women

It was really different and worthy experience though it was my first time. It was different in a sense because I had a different thought in my mind about the inmates. I thought that they will not cooperate with us, I thought that they might not open up with their experiences, I thought that I will not see such cooperative individuals, I thought that I will see people behind bars with such lonely lives, and I thought I will not experience such wonderful feeling...to be inspired.

I was surprised with jocund discussions, their initiative to start the topic, and willingness to share their wisdom. I was really happy seeing great smiles on their countenances as they discussed their experiences as well as letting their tears flowed down when they share their unforgettable moments.

Most of them joined our group in “Friendship” topic due to their bad experiences with their friends. Some experienced betrayal and some were put to the correctional because of getting involved with their friend’s dirty work. At first, they cannot accept the fact that their ‘friend/s’ cannot sacrifice something for them or cannot reciprocate the things that they've done to their friend/s. Sad, but it is actually true. Well, that was hard to swallow. Not all people that are close to us can be called “friend.” Some are just an acquaintance or colleague. But before I delve into this idea, let me first share things that I learnt. The insights are as follows in no particular order:

1.  The universe is huge and we are all a speck of dust. We don’t know what the future will bring but we do know that every moment that happens at present is important...something that we must cherish and something that we must embrace.

2.  For a very short span of time that we’ll spend in this world, we must not forget to connect with other people. Every person that we meet are potential friends, we must try to develop it and to interact with them. That’s part of being human, right?

3.  Learn how to empathize. It is not merely putting yourself on the other people’s shoes but also trying to look at life through their lenses. We must try to adjust our lens to understand others or sometimes we have to change it.

4.  Love those who are around us. We’ll never know when will be our last moments with them. We must share joys to others (positivity is contagious) and create a bank of happy memories with our loved ones.

5.  Learn to appreciate small things because these small things are actually big things that will surprisingly touch us. Sometimes these small acts of kindness and positivity can make a difference to other people’s lives.

6.  Be contented with what we possess. The more we desire for material things, the more we attract insignificance of life.

7.  Be humble because we are all just a dot in this world. We’ll never know the wheel of life. So be ready and be careful with the journey.

8.  There is hope. As long as you are alive, there is hope. The inmates are hopeful with their lives. There are hundreds of reason to be angry and to be sad because the world is full of chaos and hate. But, there are also million ways to make yourself happy. Happiness is free and you can find it everywhere.

9.  “The best avenue is friendship to survive,” said by Ms. Nilda (one of the inmates). She survived and defeated loneliness in the correctional through finding the right people inside the institution. She also added, “You cannot choose your friends.” Based on her experience, being a genuine friend is accepting the person even the slightest defect and imperfection. Friendship, according to her, is unconditional. It is something that you cannot choose. If you are a real friend, you will always be there not for the world. There are no excuses, no conditions. So, I just want to clear that the word, “friend” is something deep, true, and mostly tested by time. Friend is applicable to an individual who has been with you in times of dire need and who loves you unconditionally. Don’t confuse it with the word “acquaintance,” which is only a person you only know and it is less intimate with than friendship.

10. Happiness and positivity are from within us. There are a lot of people outside who have almost everything with them (money, car, house, fame, etc.) but they are not genuinely happy. If the inmates of the correctional are happy, hopeful, and positive with their lives, why can’t people outside experience the same thing? Why? Simply, happiness and positivity can only be found from within.

11. I learnt that we must not put any expectations when you want to get friends with someone because putting standards will only give you reasons not to like the person once they lack the qualifications for being your friend.

12. Inspiring stories are everywhere, all you need to do is to ask and observe others. I was really wrong thinking about how lonely the lives of inmates when in fact I am more lonely with my life because I still have a lot of things to learn

    I am young and I have a lot of things to learn. So this experience will definitely be kept in my bank of learning. I will surely volunteer to be a facilitator in the future and I will surely join other events similar to this experience. 

PAG- ASA

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Ako’y mula sa mumunting buto

Nangarap at nagsimulang umusbong

Ako na gawa ng Mahal na Panginoon

Saan kaya mapaparoon?

Lumago’t lumaki ay aking pinangarap

Madiligan at mabiyayaan ay aking nalasap

At mula sa itaas nasikatan

Pangarap na sana’y walang katapusan.

Patuloy na lumaki ako’t lumago

Pero bakit sa kalagitnaa’y may nagbago?

Ang dating tikas ay nahaluan ng panlulumo

Mga nasimulan ba’y magsisimula ng gumuho?

Pader ay nagsimula ng gumalaw

Kasikatan ng araw ay di na matanaw

Akong halaman na namulaklak

Patuloy bang mamumukadkad?

Paanong ang isang harang ay magigiba?

Ako’y hamak na halaman lamang

Ngunit may konting tindi pa ng pag-asa sa loob

Kahit na’ng takot ay nagsimula nang lumusob

Paano na ang kasikatan ng araw?

Tuluyan na ba itong sa aki’y mawawalay?

Nais pa sanang mahagkan ang init nito

Ngunit paano kung wala ng pagbabago.

Siguro’y mahihintay na lang

Umikot ang mundo at nawa’y masinagan,

Tulungan ng panahon na sana,

Balang araw’y ang pader ay magiba.

 Bumilis na sana ang ikot ng mundo

Para ako’y di na lubos na malungkot

Pader sana na pagkataas-taas

Nawa’y manghina sa ugat ko.

AWESOME EXPERIENCE IN CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTION FOR WOMEN

Awesome talaga ang experience sa Correctional Institution for Women! Super inspiring ang stories nila. I am really happy na nakinig ako sa life stories nila.

Alam mo yun? Hindi mo malalaman ang takbo ng mundo. Kailangan natin maging maingat, maging mapagmahal, matutong ma-appreciate yung mga bagay-bagay at maging mapagkumbaba.

Hindi mo alam kung hanggang kailan ka sa taas, kung kailan ang ganda ng mukha mo, o kung hanggang kailan ba itatagal ng buhay mo rito sa lupa. Kaya habang maaga pa lang, siguro magandang maunawaan natin kung bakit ba tayo nandito...\

"Habang may buhay may pag-asa, 

habang may pag-asa may grasya, 

at habang may grasya,

may misyon ka."

Yan ang sabi ng isang matalinong mother sa correctional. Naalala ko tuloy ang sabi ng kaibigan kong si Mark....Mark Twain. Sabi nya, "The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why." Palagay ko, malapit ko nang malaman yan. Pero habang nasa proseso ako ng byahe ko para malaman ang rason kung bakit ako nandito... Gusto kong maging masaya at maging positibo.

Kaya siguro kung may makita ka o makasamang difficult person, intindihin mo na lang (ako talagang mas gagalingan ko dyan). Mas kailangan nila yun kabaitan mo, wag kang susuko. Kung ayaw, eh di wag! Basta pinilit mong magreach-out. Basta think positive. Smile lang. 

So, yung feeling ko talaga ‘yun last time na demotivated ako, nawala at napalitan ng saya. haha.

Nalaman ko na walang rason para maging malungkot pa ako (kung meron man, lilipas din yon) dahil sa dami ng tao rito sa mundo na nangangailangan ng tulong, kalinga, kaibigan, at pamilya, masasabi ko na dapat akong maging matatag at mag reach out sa iba. Hindi naman kahinaan yon di ba?

Noong nakaraan pinapangarap kong magka-abs. Pero ngayon, so what? Nalaman kong kung may muscle man akong dapat palakasin at ihersisyo, baka yun na lang yung "puso" ko. Di ba nga araw-araw yan nagpupump ng blood para lang mabuhay tayo? Kung hindi ko patatatagin ito, kung hindi ko gagamitin para maunawaan ang ibang tao, kung pipigilan ko ang nararamdaman ko, at kung maging manhid ito...paano na? Di ba dapat ineexercise yan... let it pump. Ang sakit sa dibdib di ba kapag hindi mo nasasabi ung gusto mong sabihin? Kasi hindi ka sanay.

Siguro hindi rin kahinaan na maluha ako sa mga kwento nila. Natutuwa lang ako at maswerte na makasama ang kapwa ko mula sa iba't-ibang kalagayan sa buhay. Alam mo yun? Naramdaman kong tao talaga ako.

Marami pa rin talaga akong hindi alam. Marami pa akong bagay na gusto pang malaman. Nalaman ko nga na hindi ako pwedeng maging counselor dahil malambot din pala talaga ang puso ko. Sana tumatag 'to. Yung tipong hindi bato pero kayang makaunawa. Mabuti na lang sa industry kahit paano pwede mong hindi malaman ang personal na buhay ng iba. Pero sa mga counselor na laging nakikinig ng buhay ng clients nila, mahirap pala. **Saludo ako sa counselors! :)**

Sa topic naman ng group ko about friendship. Malaking impact talaga yung naging kwento nila.

"You can choose your friends but not your family," sabi daw sa quotes. Pero base sa experience ni Ms. Nilda sa correctional, nalaman nyang hindi applicable ang quotes na yun sa kalagayan nila. Wala silang pamilya na aagapay sa kanila kundi kaibigan. Yung kaibigan na hindi ka pababayaan kahit na magkasakit ka at tatanggapin ka kahit ano ka pa o kahit sino ka pa. Unconditional ang friendship nila. The best ang story ng tatlong yun. Hindi ko mababanggit pero tagos sa puso...kaya nga naluha ako.

Sabi nya rin, "The best avenue is friendship in order to survive," at naniniwala naman ako don. 

Hindi pala talaga ganon kalalim pa ang experience ko. Tolongges na tolongges pa talaga ako at aminado ako don. Pero araw-araw naman gumigising pa ako. Willing pa ako matuto.

Basta isa rin sa napatunayan ko talaga, hindi sa loob ng classroom mo matutunan ang mga bagay-bagay. Ang inspiring stories hindi rin sa libro mo lang malalaman, hindi sa TV o pelikula, at hindi lang sa mga dyaryo. Kung minsan sa katabi mo lang. Sa tricycle driver na sinasakyan mo araw-araw (totoo yan, hindi ko alam kung bakit pero may nasakyan ako nag-open up agad sa akin. Wala naman akong placard sa noo na counselor ako pero ewan talaga), kay manong driver, sa guard, sa kasambahay, prisoner, matandang naglalako, sa palengke, at sa mga lugar o taong hindi mo inaasahan. Magtatanong ka lang o kaya naman makikinig ka lang. Maraming inspiring stories, makinig o mag-observe ka lang.

Knowing Others: Understand People Through Actions

I come to know the person when I look through his actions. Indeed, "action speaks louder than words." It is a cliche because it is actually true. Even if their lips don't move, their body language shout everything. It says everything about them. 

How you treat other people says something about you, but of course you have to validate and look into other factors before you judge the person through his actions. Sometimes, actions that you on a particular moment can be misleading. It is better to follow the ABC Model to validate your hunch. But be careful, the moment you first saw the negative behavior of the person, it might colored the back of your mind and only see negative things about the person. So to avoid this, remember to follow the ABC model and learn to acknowledge good things that the person being observed do. 

ABC Model can help us understand the person:

ABC 1: Antecedent, Behavior, Consequence.

What happens before the behavior?

What occurs during the behavior? 

What are the consequences of his behavior? What are the reactions of other people to his actions?

Aside from the ABC model, we can also look on their attitude toward situations. Attitudes are manifestations of their beliefs and values. It says something about themselves. For instance, if the person volunteers to help protect the welfare of animals, it means that the person has a positive attitude towards protecting and nurturing the animals. More likely he is a pet lover. However, it is also important to note that you should also look on other situations that validate this, because there are instances that people join particular activities and events for the sake of doing what others expect them to be.

It is really complicated, right? Humans are complicated to understand. But, you know the simplest way to understand others is to first understand yourself. 

I would like to share this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson, it says something about how actions speak so much that even if you don't hear the content of what the person is saying, you will understand his personality:

Suggested Readings:

ABC Approach to Behavior

Is Nonverbal Communication a Numbers Game?

Quotes # 13

Quotes # 12