Quotes #17

CLOCK'S TICKING: HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT YOUR REMAINING DAYS?

Based on my research about life expectancy of Filipino, I only have 47.5 years left in this world, to be exact, 17, 337.5 days to live as of this moment (given that I will die naturally). Hahaha. Yes, that's fast. Actually, the memories that I remembered today seemed like yesterday.

It made me realized that growing old is too quick. I didn't even realize that I am doing big responsibilities and my problems are serious. I actually have white hairs and I don't even have time to dye it. I am stressed yet happy. I love what I do and I finally living my simple dream (I just hope to level it up). 

A lot of things happened to me so fast in just 2 years. I didn't even think of it that it will happen to e because there were things that I didn't ask but were given to me. I guess that's the good thing of not expecting too much of life but just doing  best. However, on my journey of fulfilling my dreams there are a lot of struggles and problems, usually problems in dealing with toxic people. But the good thing is: I DON'T GIVE AN F* ON THEM. AND I GET USED TO THEM. 

I just do what I think is right as long as I don't interfere with them and I don't involve myself on other things that I find nonsense.

Nowadays, I am a little drained with emotions. Basically, this "drained" feeling is rooted from a lot of engagements and talking. I want to find my solitude and to be quiet these days. I want to talk about positive things in life because aside from it boosts my mood,  it will help me to look young. Ahahaha. I want to relax and to be with my partner, family, and friends. #semesterbreakfeels #shortvacationcoming

Thinking about my remaining days, I want to spend it with my loved ones and to contribute something remarkable in society. I want to be remembered because of my contributions and I believe that will be a way for me to live forever. I want to live this little place called Earth without any regrets in life. I want to be happy and to leave a mark.

How about you? :) Have you thought about your remaining days?

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A Man's Search for Meaning: My Reflection

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What drives a person to live? What pushes us to go along in spite of intricacies of life? These are questions that I want to seek when I first saw the title of Viktor Frankl’s book. It was a very interesting story which inspires me to find my own path, where I can see myself flourishing with different colors.

            This book is one of my favorites. I happened to know this because someone recommended it to me. I was also challenged that this book will provide existential beliefs and will change (at least) my way of looking about things. Indeed, it was a great choice!

 I hope that my generation, millenials to be particular, will read this book. It will serve as a revelation and guide on which path to take, and it will ignite individual’s fervor to look for the reason of their existence. Although science is significant in our lives, science cannot explain solely things around us such as meaning, love, passion, and hope.  Abstract things will never be perceived through the use of our naked eyes but can only be perceived by our hearts. Once you felt it, you no longer need to express it through words or elucidate its proof using scientific formula.

            I remember Jonathan Livingston Seagull’s goal, another best-selling book, which is “do not be afraid of showing your wings, of pursuing different way from the majority because being unique doesn’t make you deviant rather it makes you who you really are.” It reminds me that we are a perfect being. Thinking as a perfect being doesn’t mean there’s no room for us to commit any mistakes rather it means that we live our life to the fullest and being the best as we can be.  Our souls possess inexplicable power, and a person experiencing the darkest of the darkest predicament will always have a way to surpass those difficulties. It is still a mystery as I put it, for science cannot measure the will of the person, the will to continue even chains of poverty, hunger and suffering pulling him down.

            As I read the pages of Frankl’s book, I pondered a lot of things. Here’s my list of insights:

One, I think that our souls are incarcerated in this body which limits us to see our full power but if we have enough will, we can use it. Does it makes sense?  

Two, science and books will not be able to measure our will. Frankl’s goal to be released in the camp is an evident example. He eats less and sleeps less each day as well as he suffers psychologically, physically and spiritually. He supposed to be dead by that time, but he lived because of his great will power to survive. And that power to survive is immeasurable.

Third, happiness is about mindset. The academe taught me to become so cautious and doubtful in things that I see in the world. I do not rely on things that are not supported by empirical evidences, I question almost everything, and it seemed that I became doubtful. I guess, science and objective reasoning changed me. With this recognition of the world, I feel that sometimes the world is cruel and bias. But through thinking about people that I care and love, these feelings of sorrows and disappointments in life fade away. Happiness is a choice. If we only rely on objectivity, sometimes we tend to become stoic but if we rely more on subjectivity, we tend to commit mistakes because of uncontrolled flow of emotions. I guess the balance between these two things must be achieved. You choose which road to take without neglecting the essence of these two things.

Fourth, I like Dr. Frankl’s statement “Pleasure is, and must remain, a side-effect or by-product, and is destroyed and spoiled to the degree to which it is made a goal in itself.” Pleasure must be the result of hard work; it is not a sought-after goal. If we set pleasure as our aim, then life would be superficial and dull.  Fifth, his views in life taught me to cherish every moment because one day all of us will die.

Finally, I believe in Dr. Frankl’s statement “Man's main concern is not to gain pleasure or to avoid pain but rather to see a meaning in his life,” because there are situations in life that we still continue to endure pain and tension because we find meaning to it.

            Frankl’s book is priceless, it contains thoughts which has a valuable substance that must be shared and be circularized around the globe. It is an eye-opener to any individual that we should not give up and we must continue to live. We must search for meaning and that is the primary goal of man. His theory is very unique the same with Freud’s for reason that it contains human’s morality. And when I refer to morality, his theory protects the welfare of the people, giving the people a sense of understanding to one’s self and teaching the people to show its hidden spirit, waiting to be awaken when in time. The essence of the book is more than spreading the information during the time of World War I, its heartfelt story will surely move any people, ignite the desires to continue searching for our meaning. Thus, it is not surprising that it is one of the best-selling books of all time and touched millions of people around the world. Reading this will surely help the posterity and save millions of people enslaved by their own misery and sufferings.

            I love the main goal of his theory which is logotherapy, it taught me something that I will never forget. The worst thing of all is not dying per se, but dying without knowing your own existence. We should live for the following main three reasons and we should put these things in our heart and mind: Live because there is love, live because we have talent to use and above all, we have lingering memories preserved.

            I recommend this book to young individuals, the generation where I belong.  I would like to quote Dr. Frankl’s reminder for young people like me, “Don’t aim at success — the more you aim at it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued ... Happiness must happen and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it.” My generation forgets to think for a moment. Most of my young people, like me, are busy looking at life in a different view, viewing life as a matter of acquiring earthly possessions. Unfortunately, it is evident. When I look at social media such as Facebook and Twitter, I see most of my friends in the same generation are posting things about their new gadgets, expensive food they will eat, expensive places they have just seen, and many more that are not so essential. Instead of seeing life in this kind of perspective, I think it is better for me to follow what Frankl stated in his book. I should look life at its nakedness. Nakedness means life far from earthly things, a life that is not ranked by wealth. Although sometimes it is good to feel that you have acquired something like material things out of your hard work, but I think it should not be posted in the social media every now and then especially if you are just starting to make good fortunes in your own. As for me, it is like boasting what you have just got and it is like getting too much attention.  

            My generation tends to compete with others as if life is about survival, as if life is about a race. Instead of trying to outperform others, why not try to compete ourselves? Competing the self is far safer and more meaningful than trying to compete with others.  I think and I feel that most of us tend to race or consider life as games, seeing life as black and white or seeing life as win or lose. I just realized after reading the book that we must redefine success in life, success does measure neither material possessions nor fame. As for me, success in life must be a measurement of individual’s meaning, knowing the reason of person’s existence in this world. It is indeed grateful to know that I am alive but being cognizant of my own purpose is much more joy. I realized that I should not take my life too seriously that I even forget to say grace to the ultimate Being and express love to people around me. I am very grateful reading this book once again, for this is the right time of reading it. Reminding me once again not to count the possessions I have but happy memories that linger in my mind, meaningful conversation with significant people in my life, and taking things one step at a time. There is no need to rush on things for I am very young. I need to listen more often and talk less. I need to read more books and comprehend unfathomable circumstances that occur in my pathways. I need to be more open and kind. I need to internalize more principles that I have learned in school and I need to enjoy my life with my loved ones. Above all, I have learned that the finest things in life are not seen but meaning of my existence is.

Who Am I?

Who am I?

This is one of the most difficult questions that I have encountered in my life when I studied Psychology. And yes, at this moment, I have an answer to offer. :)

Here is my answer:

Now, I ask, Who are you? 

An Employee's Sentiment to Company X

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I love my work as an HR in Company X because I love challenges. The first task assigned to me was to make a company policy. I accepted it because I love challenges. That's what I am. But at the back of my mind, I heard a little voice that said, "How the hell they existed for 25 years without a policy?" I removed the cloud in my head, and because I am hard headed, I accepted the offer...not knowing what awaits me...I entered hell.

At first, I am super energetic and motivated. I mingled with workers, they are kind and eventually they disclosed their problems with the company. Here are the problems that seemed irreparable:

1. No benefits even sick leave and vacation leave.

2. They impose deductions and penalties.

3. They command the HR Dept to issue memorandum (even simple things that can be done verbally)

4. No Department heads. YES, no heads except for one untouchable Department. 

5. No health insurance. They will issue health insurance if you are part of the company for 5 years. And yet the old employees right now does not have health insurance because the company didn't pay for it.

6. No retirement benefits. There is one employee who separated from Company X and she doesn't receive any separation pay. She served the Company X for 21 years.

7. No career growth for almost employees.

8. They give too much workloads to some employees and ask for immediate positive results on performance.

9. No job evaluation.

10. No clear job descriptions. I made a task analysis that will be a basis for job descriptions and other important HR functions.

11.No salary grade. Company driver salary is the same with the dispatcher, marketing assistant, and hr assistant. (Sounds, unfair huh?)

12. No training and development.

13. No organizational structure.

14. 13th month pay release later than 24th day of December.

15. They reprimand employees in front of applicants and other employees. No wonder why our applicants walked out after the incident and it is also one of the reasons why turnover rate is high.

16. No fire exit and comfort rooms are mess.

17. No utility worker but underpaid house helpers. Yes, their house helpers are brought to the premises of the company to work for us. Even their own house helpers turnover was high because of too much work. One house helper told me, "The boss gives too much work and we don't have freedom."

18. There are three bosses in one company and the three of them sometimes are in conflict. Because of this, some of us are also in conflict. We don't know whose right.

19. Too strict that even cellphones are not allowed in the company. We are not also allowed to eat in our areas and we do not have kitchen.During lunch break, we go outside the building or stay on the ground floor.

20. The bosses and even employees are unprofessional. Some wear only shirt, jeans, and slippers.

21. No testing room and interview room.

22. Most of the time, the boss is right. The boss interferes with our work and it messes our work. I mean, c'mon? We know our duties but she keeps on interfering with our work which made it difficult. She thinks that she knows everything. (Employees tried to share their thoughts with their boss through writing a letter and telling it to the boss... unfortunately, nothing happened.)

23. The bosses use foul languages to employees.

24. No contracts.

25. No company policy. This is my first task and I am proud that I made it.

26. Turn over rates.The employee turn over was so high to the extent that newly-hired workers last for 2 days. Yes, 2 days. In my five months stay in the company, I experienced attending conciliation in labor and seeing people going out for they no longer stomach the humiliation from the bosses.

27. No decent company ID. 

28. No company outing and team building.

29. No anniversary date for celebrating the company's establishment.

30. No incentives.

31. Working days is from Monday- Saturday, 48 Hours a week. No work-life balance. 

Wooo! Loooong list. Other things are not mentioned. So I guess, I made the right decision not to prolong my contract, eh? I mean, verbal contract? I don't have a contract, by the way. I just want to end my five months out of respect. 

In my stay, I realized that not all challenging activities are worth fighting for knowing that there are a lot of negativity in the environment which highly affect my productivity as an employee. I learned also that before I accept the offer in a company, I have to conduct background check, study the company profile, know the benefits and incentives, and to know the owner. In short, I have to choose wisely.

I realized that it is not always the fault of my coworkers why the company stayed as sterile and standpat. I believe it is a two-way problem. It is a fault that will never be rectified unless the management also accepts its inefficiencies and flaws.

 I am by nature, a person who doesn’t usually give up on trials. I came from poverty, I studied in a State University, an achiever and a person who finds joy and positive things in bleak situations. But as of now, I will concede. I admit that I am late going to work for 9 times (which is unusual for me because I am punctual) and I admit that I no longer give my best every day when I perform my work.

Little by little, the demand of work eats me up. I do a lot of things which should be done by two persons. But I don’t want to complain about it because there’s no such thing as nirvana in industry. No easy task. But what really mess my performance is the problem with the management and unmotivated people around me. It is very unhealthy place to stay. 

So, is it worth to stay? Based on the loooong list that I've mentioned, it is obvious that I don't need to. The company exists for 25 years with unsystematic culture and structure. It is difficult to break their system. I know because I tried to change it, nothing happened. I tried to influence the employees and initiate things. But all of their hopes are almost withered due to long wait and broken promises made by the management. They no longer believe the management because for 25 years no progress. Mostly, all promises are lip service.

My love of work and positive mind are gradually emptied by a lot of negative factors. I became demotivated, although I am still fighting for it, but I felt like there’s no use for me to stay. I don’t want to get up out of my bed because of the scenarios that play on my mind which I might encounter when going to work, although the negative scenes are not directly towards me, but seeing others being reprimanded in front of others highly affects me. 

I want to work because I want to learn and to grow. I want to be appreciated and I want to be a professional. I want to work because I want to share the things that I know and to openly admit that I don’t know everything but will be accepted and guided by my superiors. I want to work because I want to build strong and harmonious relationships with my coworkers. Isn’t it the work of an HR? Instead, being an HR in this company is like a curse. People are afraid to reach out and voice out their problems.

That's why I concede. I give up. I don't want to stay any longer. 

I want to give up because I believe and based on my experience that employees leave not because they are afraid nor they are weak. Sometimes employees leave because they are intelligent enough and strong enough to take some risk to continue their passion.

Life is too short to remain in a company that will not nurture my needs and will not bring out the best in me. If they think we need them, they need us more than we do. Too bad, they don’t realize that building the morale and the best in each employee will make their organization a success. Too bad, they only focus on their greed, I mean need.

I want to get out of that hell because their vision is different from mine. One important rule to become successful is to find the right people with the same vision. You work hand in hand to achieve the same goal. 

I just want to say this to Company X:

·       Building an organization is not common sense. It takes the marriage of science and practice for you to become successful. 

·      Success is not measured on how many properties you owned but on how well you connect with people. Success is getting a peaceful sleep at night. Success is character.

·  The asset of organization are people. All successful organizations know this and unfortunately, you don't know this. That's why until now, you are a waste.

·     Empowering each employee means empowering your company. Bringing out the best on each employee equals success of the company. 

·      Instead of opening channels for your business in which you don't have enough manpower and no scientific management, focus only on few things and increase its quality. You are holding too much properties, the qualities are sacrificed. 

·     Good bye! Good luck to your future endeavors and see you at the top! I hope to see you there someday.

     Sito Longges is now officially ready to land on another world. 

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HINDI MO ALAM (LIHIM)

Ito ay isang tula na hango sa simpleng paghanga lang ngunit naging malalim ng buuin na ang mga salita.

Hindi mo alam sa bawat lingon at sa bawat gilid ng aking mga mata

Pilit kong patagong sinisilayan ka

Hindi mo alam. Dahil paano mo nga bang malalaman?

Ang isang sikretong hindi ko kailanman isisiwalat kaninoman?

Hindi mo alam na kahit tigre ka, hindi ka perpekto

at hindi nakikita ng iba ang natatago mong kalambutan,

Sa akin nagiging mundo kita at pinipilit kong

Araw-araw, segu-segundo na kalimutan

Itong nararamdaman ko para sa’yo

Dahil sa simula’t sapul pa lang

Alam kong hindi magiging tayo.

Dahil kailanman, hindi mo malalaman

Ang kaibahan ng kalangitan sa kalupaan.

Hindi hahalik ang kalangitan sa lupa

Hindi ka rin baba mula ‘dyan

Dahil simula’t sapul pa lang nang masilayan kita

Nalaman kong hinding-hindi magiging tayo

Hinding-hindi. Dahil iba ang mundo mo, at iba ang mundo ko.

Dahil ang prinsesa ay kailanma’y hindi maaaring mahawakan

Ng isang hamak na tagapagsunod lamang.

Kaya nakakalungkot lang

Dahil simula pa lang nang makita kita

Nalaman kong imposible talaga.

Imposible talaga.

Kaya lilisanin na lang kita. Lilisanin na lang kita.

Babaunin ko na lang ang mga nakaw na sandali

Mga maiiksi at pigil na tanong

Mga limitadong kwento dahil baka malaman mo

Ang sikretong matagal na ring itinatago sa’yo.

Kaya lilisanin na lang kita. Lilisanin na lang kita.

Babaunin ko na lang ang mga nakakatuwa mong ngiti

at ang iyong maliliit na mata na kumikislap

Ang mga nakakabusog mong tawa na minsan ko lang marinig

Ang iyong magandang mukha na maaaring sa panaginip ko na lang

muling masisilayan.

Paalam, prinsensa. Isang nakakatuwang panaginip.

Isang nakakapanabik na alaala.

Nakakatuwa lang na kahit papaano pala,

nalaman kong ang prinsesang nakikita nang iba

na nakakatakot lapitan at makausap

ay kaya naman pala na malapitan.

Pero alam kong hanggang doon na lang.

Hanggang doon lang!

Kaya lilisanin na lang kita. Lilisanin na lang kita!

Dahil sa simula’t sapul pa lang

Nang una kitang masilayan, nang unang nabihag mo ako
at nang unang nalaman ko,
Malabong maging tayo.

Siguro ito ang isang bagay sa buhay ko
na kahit kailanman
hinding-hindi ko makakayanang maabot.

Sa lahat. Sa lahat lahat ng pangarap ko.
Ito lang ang bagay na hindi ko kailanman makakayanan.
Hindi masasabi.
Hindi magagawa.

Dahil sa simula't sapul pa lang.
Alam na alam kong mabibigo ako.
At alam mo? (ay hindi mo nga pala alam)
Na ito lang ang bagay na naging mahirap sa akin.
Ito lang ang bagay na naduwag ako.
At hindi ko 'to inaasahan na darating sa akin.
Dahil alam kong matapang ako.

Matapang ako, matapang ako, matapang ako.
Pero kahit anong bulong ko sa sarili ko?
Wala. Wala akong napapala!
Wala akong makuhang lakas ng loob...

Ngayon lang ako naging gan'to.
Kaya ganito na lang...
at alam kong ito ang tama.

Lilisanin na lang kita.

Nakakalungkot lang pero...
Hindi mo ito malalaman.
Hinding-hindi mo malalaman.
Hinding-hindi mo malalaman na nalulungkot ako.
Hinding-hindi mo malalaman na nanghihinayang ako.

Lilisanin kita at siguradong-sigurado na ako doon.

Kasabay ng mga masasayang alaala
na ako lamang ang may alam.
Lihim na ako lamang ang magdadala.
Dahil sa simula't sapul pa lang
nang tumapak ako sa mundo mo...
alam kong walang magiging 'tayo.'

May Forever sa Psychology

Siguro mahal ko lang ang field ko kaya na-iinspire ako. Kapag malungkot ako o stressed from work kapag nakikipagusap ako sa mga kakilala kong psych majors at pag-uusapan ang mga bagay-bagay sa psychology, nawawala ang pagod ko. I guess, I love my field so much. :)

Thankful ako sa field na to. It changed me a lot. :)

I would like to shout it to the world!

#proudpsych #ilovepsychology #eternallove