It was really different and
worthy experience though it was my first time. It was different in a sense
because I had a different thought in my mind about the inmates. I thought that
they will not cooperate with us, I thought that they might not open up with
their experiences, I thought that I will not see such cooperative individuals,
I thought that I will see people behind bars with such lonely lives, and I
thought I will not experience such wonderful feeling...to be inspired.
I was surprised with jocund
discussions, their initiative to start the topic, and willingness to share their
wisdom. I was really happy seeing great smiles on their countenances as they
discussed their experiences as well as letting their tears flowed down when
they share their unforgettable moments.
Most of them joined our
group in “Friendship” topic due to their bad experiences with their friends.
Some experienced betrayal and some were put to the correctional because of
getting involved with their friend’s dirty work. At first, they cannot accept
the fact that their ‘friend/s’ cannot sacrifice something for them or cannot
reciprocate the things that they've done to their friend/s. Sad, but it is
actually true. Well, that was hard to swallow. Not all people that are close to
us can be called “friend.” Some are just an acquaintance or colleague. But
before I delve into this idea, let me first share things that I learnt. The
insights are as follows in no particular order:
1. The universe is huge and we are all a speck
of dust. We don’t know what the future will bring but we do know that every
moment that happens at present is important...something that we must cherish
and something that we must embrace.
2. For a very short span of time that we’ll
spend in this world, we must not forget to connect with other people. Every
person that we meet are potential friends, we must try to develop it and to
interact with them. That’s part of being human, right?
3. Learn how to empathize. It is not merely
putting yourself on the other people’s shoes but also trying to look at life
through their lenses. We must try to adjust our lens to understand others or
sometimes we have to change it.
4. Love those who are around us. We’ll never
know when will be our last moments with them. We must share joys to others
(positivity is contagious) and create a bank of happy memories with our loved
ones.
5. Learn to appreciate small things because
these small things are actually big things that will surprisingly touch us.
Sometimes these small acts of kindness and positivity can make a difference to
other people’s lives.
6. Be
contented with what we possess. The more we desire for material things, the
more we attract insignificance of life.
7. Be humble because we are all just a dot in
this world. We’ll never know the wheel of life. So be ready and be careful with
the journey.
8. There is hope. As long as you are alive,
there is hope. The inmates are hopeful with their lives. There are hundreds of
reason to be angry and to be sad because the world is full of chaos and hate.
But, there are also million ways to make yourself happy. Happiness is free and
you can find it everywhere.
9. “The best avenue is friendship to survive,”
said by Ms. Nilda (one of the inmates). She survived and defeated loneliness in
the correctional through finding the right people inside the institution. She
also added, “You cannot choose your friends.” Based on her experience, being a
genuine friend is accepting the person even the slightest defect and imperfection.
Friendship, according to her, is unconditional. It is something that you cannot
choose. If you are a real friend, you will always be there not for the world. There
are no excuses, no conditions. So, I just want to clear that the word, “friend”
is something deep, true, and mostly tested by time. Friend is applicable to an
individual who has been with you in times of dire need and who loves you
unconditionally. Don’t confuse it with the word “acquaintance,” which is only a
person you only know and it is less intimate with than friendship.
10. Happiness
and positivity are from within us. There are a lot of people outside who have
almost everything with them (money, car, house, fame, etc.) but they are not
genuinely happy. If the inmates of the correctional are happy, hopeful, and
positive with their lives, why can’t people outside experience the same thing?
Why? Simply, happiness and positivity can only be found from within.
11. I
learnt that we must not put any expectations when you want to get friends with
someone because putting standards will only give you reasons not to like the
person once they lack the qualifications for being your friend.
12. Inspiring
stories are everywhere, all you need to do is to ask and observe others. I was
really wrong thinking about how lonely the lives of inmates when in fact I am
more lonely with my life because I still have a lot of things to learn
I am
young and I have a lot of things to learn. So this experience will definitely
be kept in my bank of learning. I will surely volunteer to be a facilitator in
the future and I will surely join other events similar to this experience.
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